Being inactive here for quite some time. Finally I'm back, on today, April Fool day!
Being in this state for quite some time. Stagnant phase. Looking for a chance yet too afraid to take the first step. I was a coward. Am I still the same coward?
Being puzzled after have been asked for the same question for quite some time. Are you leaving? I know exactly I want to leave. Yet, I have to make sure everything work out. However, rumors spread like wildfire. In a glimpse, everyone know about it. I regretted that I told someone. Or I gave a hint. Now, I have to bear the consequences.
Being worried since I am overwhelmed with uncertainties for quite some time. Whether able to leave, whether able to get a place in University, whether able to settle everything on time, whether I am brave enough to execute plan B and etc. I am not an adventurous person, yet I don't want to give up this chance to explore rather than remain.
Being comfortable in my comfort zone for quite some time. Till I am reluctant to walk out from it, though I have many plans to do. Staying in my small little comfort zone while watching others carried out their plans successfully, exploring the world, did what I want to do. Envied of others, yet still too afraid to leave. It's same as holding on a man that doesn't love you, because you're too afraid of the world without him, and worried you won't meet anyone after him. One main thing you might overlook, thing always has two faces. You too focus on the bad till you forgot about the good side. Someone better probably waiting for you just behind the door but you're too afraid to walk out from the room. Uncertainties aren't always bad. Instead, uncertainties always bring good. Probably you'll only recognize the good side after some time.
Being alone for quite some time. I hope I still remember how to love and able to bring love for the one. Sincerely wish I am capable to love and feel love after all the drama and bad experiences and testimonials as well. Do you feel my love?
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