LOST!

Confuse...

I start to worry about my future.

I know what I want to be, but I don't know how to make sure I walk toward there.

I don't know the route.

So, I'm lost.

Feel like myself wallow in the mud, I can't get up.

I lost my strength. I'm scared.

I can feel that my tear is going to run down my cheek, I can't stay calm now.

It's like you don't know where you are heading, and you just keep move on.

I hate the feeling that I might be going into wrong way.

How can I become stronger? braver? more confident?

I want to wield my own destiny. I wish I can.

Wondering...

I started to think that I'm useless.

Why others can get scholarship but I can't?

Why others seem like more success than me?

And I know the answer.

Because I won't try. I'm too scared to give it a try.

I scared I fail. I worry I can't make it. I don't want to disappoint myself.

I always like to make plan, and I keep on failing my own plan.

I had never make it right.

Is it because I'm too weak? Or I really don't have the ability to be extraordinary?

I set high target for myself. But I couldn't reach it. I think.

I'm too pessimistic.

I want to change! I wish I can change! I don't want to be the old me that is coward!

I miss the primary school me.

The girl that always had the courage to follow her own way.

The girl that very confident in herself, and she will never be coward.

She was braved and willing to fight for her honor.

She just want the things that she thought is right make sense for others.

I'm not a coward.

I just try to become a normal person.

That live normal life.

But I know I won't be able to stay like that.

I want a career, successful career for myself.

The only one I interest in and wish is I can be in the field that I like.