My apologize...

Since yesterday,I can felt that my emotion is changing,become unstable.
I angry easily,felt depressed and I trying to shut all of me from others,
and live in my own world, again.

I really feel grateful and happy when you offered to take me for a trip.
And just now, I knew that I'm a little bit over-react.
I'm a person that take most of things very serious.
I'm not that happy-go-lucky or people that like to joke around.
I take everything,every speech seriously, very serious.
Especially now I'm in unstable level.This could make things worst.

Maybe you or all of you will think that why i acted like this.
If I'm in your shoes, I most probably will think,
'what the hell she act like i suppose to sponsor her all things??
I already take her for a trip,she shouldn't be ask for more!
Some more complain that expenses not enough?
This is not my responsibility,not in my coverage.
She should be grateful for this but not take for granted!'
This is what I will have in my mind, I think.
If I faced a 'lynice-style' answer just now.

But for you,I knew you wouldn't think like that.
That is your style.
Maybe you will felt like something 'not right',
or what I can see from your expression is,
looked like you think what I said was funny and a little too serious.
I just, a little lost control, so let the 'serious-me' appear again.

I'm sorry,that I may disappointed you or let you down.
I knew my attitude is really 'no-good' and I'm on my way to fix it right.
I tend to screw-up things,that what I always did.

And yes,you wouldn't heard me say 'sorry' face to face,since last time.
I mean a very serious face with the sorry word.
That is really embarrassing, I can't take it.
So, I going to say sorry here.
I don't know you will see this or not, I just want to do it in my way.

Sorry.
I will appreciate what you had did for me,
and repay you when I have the ability to do so.
This is the only thing that I can promise now.